2002-07-09 - 4:22 p.m.
sometimes i can't stand to live inside this skin but sometimes i wouldn't want to be anywhere else except maybe in africa or japan or somewhere else exotic like that away from everyone else and especially away from that situation and everything surrounding it that comes to me at night and surrounds my brain and won't let me breathe deeply like i used to love to do and now i can't anymore because of the strangling hold that it all has on my neck and my brain
sometimes i turn the light on and want to scream out in rage at all of the letters and utterances and kisses and golden accquisitions that we built up over the years but now that it's all in the lake they mean nothing and crumble to dust at the very thought of that bed and its heat
and what about that day that we drove down the road towards the old red house that stood along the bayou of the sacred log that we used to go to every second tuesday and eat lunch upon the roof of the teetering shack that reminded me of the way your uncle stood wobbling in the driveway that night that we left for the light show
the night hung around your head like a fine cloth that was imported from somewhere that makes fine cloth and i handed you the violet that you requested with a little scrawled passage that read:
"to those who wish to love someone like you, i have two pieces of advice:
1. Guard your sanity, it is truly fleeting
And
2. Always wear a blue girdle."
